Yes, it was 1 year ago this month when I started my career hobby as an amateur film critic. (And this post really should've been up 3 weeks ago, but then again my Robin Hood review was also almost a week late, so... yeah.) I've heard it said that when a hobby becomes a chore, it's time to take a break from it and come back to it later - and sometimes, the motivation to take it up again just never comes. As my frequent delays in updating will indicate, writing reviews does sometimes get kinda chore-ish... but not to worry. I ain't quitting.

'Cos frankly, I'm having loads of fun doing this. I love having a blog. I love seeing my hits steadily increase, even though it's currently still nowhere near as high as the "popular" bloggers out there (my readership is quality over quantity, yo). I love getting comments on my reviews and replying to them. I love making it a regular topic of conversation whenever I meet up with friends. (Y'all still like hearing me talk about my blog, right? Right?) I love making plans to catch a movie on such-and-such a day, spend the next day writing the review, and have it posted in time to catch the next movie; I wonder now what I did with myself on weekends before I started this. I love having something to do on weekends and in my spare time; I spend them making something, and it's something that gives me satisfaction.

Most of all, I love that satisfaction this blog gives me. Writing is one of the few things I can confidently say I'm good at, which is why I chose a day job career that involves it. But being a wage slave means that personal satisfaction - being able to truly take pride in something I wrote - is rare and fragile. So this here thing is my thing, subject to no one's standards (or deadlines) but my own, which is a privilege I wouldn't give up for the world. Sometimes I'm asked why I don't write for newspapers or magazines; it's because if I did, I'd have an editor, I'd have length constraints, I'd have a house style to conform to, and I'd be beholden to advertisers and stakeholders and purse-string-holders. Screw all that.

(Although frankly, I would love, love, looooove to be able to do this full-time. But not if I have to sell out. 'Cos then it wouldn't be satisfying, wuddit?)

I also love the fact that watching so many films has exposed me to so many new filmic experiences. I am referring, of course, to my penchant for reviewing made-in-Malaysia movies. Yes, the vast majority of them suck, and yes, some of them suck so bad they're positively painful to watch. But I'm still watching 'em and reviewing 'em and I ain't stopping. They're a whole fascinating world of cinema to me, at once familiar and new, and I love exploring it. I love having discovered fellow film critics like Bin Filem and Fadz and Ajami Hashim and (on occasion) Obefiend. I love hanging out in this little corner of Facebook, which is now more about local films in general and not just those directed by one guy. And I love practicing my long-underused Malay in my Malay movie reviews - 'cos I'm an Anak Malaysia yo, and I be down wit da Bahasa Kebangsaan.

So yeah, I'm lovin' this - and I hope at least some of my enjoyment rubs off on you, dear reader. Because as much as I'm all "I gotta be me", in no way do I wish to be a syok sendiri blogger. I'm writing for an audience. My much-valued freedom to write what I want, when I want, is tempered by the fact that I have an audience that expects things of me. (E.g. regular updates.) I am beholden to no editor or advertiser, but I am beholden to my readers. That's one obligation I am glad to bear.

Thanks for being my readers, is what I'm trying to say. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Hope you've been having fun. The ride's still going on. Do stick around.