My rating:
(Amaran: yes, it's another one-star movie. That means I break out the swearing. Pengidap penyakit jantung dan ibu-ibu mengandung dinasihatkan agar tidak membaca rebiu ini.)
Through a quirk of our local cinema release schedule, I have had to watch three Malay films back to back. I once said I could barely handle watching two in a row, but the only other movie I could've picked was Marmaduke, which, well, no. Besides, I've also just renewed my commitment to watching and reviewing every local film made, so I thought I could handle it. It's been rough going though, what with the first two being pretty damn terrible.
Wouldn't you know it, the Movie Gods saved the absolute fucking worst for last.
Aiman (Nabil Ahmad), Joe (Bell Ngasri) and Belon (Shah R) are three friends and
Why yes, I did just reveal the entire plot of the movie. No, I did not "spoil" it, because this movie is already a rancid heap of putrefaction. This is the absolute most pathetic fucking excuse for a movie I have ever seen in my career as a critic of Malaysian films, and I seriously contemplated giving it my first ever half-star or even no-star rating. It does, however, present an interesting challenge on how to review it. My modus operandi on both my previous reviews was to mention as many of the movie's numerous instances of suck and fail as I could remember, but if I do that here I'll probably never finish this review. So, hmm, how do I present a sorta general overview of how fuck-me-gently-with-a-chainsaw horrible this movie is?
How 'bout I start by saying that co-writer-directors S. Baldev Singh and Ikhzal Ideris are total lazy-ass incompetent morons. I swear to Allah S.W.T. that this movie had no script. It just had some vague scene directions into which the actors are thrown into, then told to ad-lib their own dialogue and buat lawak sendiri. Lacking the skill for comic improvisation, the cast just generally act like budak kecik darjah satu. Seriously. I went to grab a bite at a KFC after the movie and saw two kids playing... well, one of them was playing. He kept pushing the other kid and running off giggling like an idiot, and that other kid was just barely restraining himself from murdering him with his bare hands. Because that's how kids behave - like total fucking assholes who think it's fun to annoy the crap out of you.
That's what this movie does to you. That's what these characters do to each other, and therefore to the audience as well. And the only people who can enjoy this shit are budak kecik darjah satu, or those who are mentally the equivalent. There were actually a handful of people in the cinema with me who were laughing at the onscreen antics, and I really wanted to ask: what is wrong with you people?? Are you retarded?? But no, the real villains here are the purveyors of this kinda shit, i.e. Messrs. Baldev and Ikhzal. Ko tengok lagi sekali watak-watak yang telah kamu cipta tu. Bodoh, pemalas, pendek akal, tak amanah, dan tak boleh diharap. Ko sedar tak, inilah yang membuatkan bangsa Melayu dipandang rendah, tau?
Oh yeah, I went there. I got political on this movie's ass. See, I got perspective; I know it's pointless to rage at people who enjoy stupid crap, because there will always be people who enjoy stupid crap. If Hollywood can make stuff like Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans and, hell, Marmaduke, we can have our Kecoh Betuls and our Semerah Cinta Stilletos. But as I said in my review of that Ahmad Idham anti-masterpiece, this kind of fucked-up filmmaking is the standard for Malay movies. It may not always be this bad, but it rarely ever gets much better. And the average Malay moviegoer will come to believe that there is no better, and they'll pay to watch this stuff because they gotta watch something. And, gradually and inexorably, otak mereka akan reput. (And yes, I said Malay movies and Malay audiences. 'Cos Chinese make better movies. Yeah, I went there, motherfuckers.)
There's nothing worth saying about the cast; some of them have been decent in other movies, but it's not their fault they got roped into this steaming turd. I certainly feel sorry that they're in this flop - and yes, seeing that it opened the same week as Lagenda Budak Setan, you'd best believe it's a flop. I seem to remember that it's Finas who arbitrarily picks the release dates for local films, so I guess it's
NEXT REVIEW: The Karate Kid
Expectations: some competent filmmaking, at long fucking last
14 comments:
Tajuk dan poster filem pun macam siyallllll..
Boleh imagine ceritanya la kan....
**Sigh**
filem malaysia tk banyak yg boleh dibanggakan...
tengok poster pon dh xde selera..hahaha~
Bro TBMF, i take it that ur not a muslims right?? I noticed that ur using ALLAH sometimes, its ur rights but the term is wrong this time. S.A.W means P.B.U.H (peace be upon him) which for our prophet Muhammad only.
K, back to the movie, I salute u for having the guts and strong will to watch all Malay movie that is crap to you. I already banned myself from watching movies like this.
peace
@profwacko: Oh dear, I did get it wrong. It's Allah S.W.T. right? Thanks for the correction. :)
I almost made the same mistake as you did, considering on picking Kecoh Betul over Marmaduke because the poster of a dog on a surfboard does kinda turn people off. Tapi takpe yakinkan diri dengan "Owen Wilson Owen Wilson Owen Wilson". Baik tengok Marmaduke, seriously. Baik tengok movie anjing daripada movie hanjeng.
Oh dear, too many bad movies in row can indeed kills your spirit. Chin-chin, u should watch A-Team next. Mindless fun, but at least it's fun!
why cant u just give it a 0 star?
no offense but u've been bodoh betul to watch this kind of movie.
@idsyur tagem: Somebody's gotta do it.
i respect u for that! hahaha
I think you need to quit watching Malay's movie . I'm worried one day you'll get a heart attack.
Kecoh betul is okay and funny
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