Usah membenci dR Rozmey - tapi bencilah Imran Ismail

2 Alam
My rating:




For the benefit of my readers who aren't up to date on local entertainment news, here's the skinny on 2 Alam: Datuk Dr. Haji Che Rozmey Che Din is this rich guy who made his millions through a multi-level marketing outfit that hawks Jus Mate 5, a "produk melangsingkan badan". He gets this notion to go into the filmmaking business, produces this movie, and starts making hilariously self-aggrandizing media statements proclaiming that it is literally the greatest local film ever made. He says it'll rake in RM12 million, then revises that to RM20 million, and finally RM40 million (for reference's sake, the top-grossing local film is Adnan Sempit at RM7.6 million and the highest-grossing film ever in Malaysia is Avatar at RM24 million) - then gets into a war of words with the press when they were somewhat skeptical of these prospects. And yes, that's his own mug on the poster up above, which was released after the previous version was outed for plagiarising the poster of a Hollywood film called The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

Thus, with all the signs pointing to a train wreck of a movie, maklumlah ini sebuah keretapi yang hancur sehancur-hancurnya.

At some kampung somewhere, ustaz Haji Ishak (Aaron Aziz) is performing funeral rites for the recently departed, name of Adam and only child of his parents (Rosnah Johari and Sabree Fadzil). Then in the big ibukota, this skanky ho named Amy (Suhaillah Salam) is supposed to be a "penyanyi terkenal" and spends her time canoodling with her boyfriend Juan (Royadi Madada). Haji Ishak is having trouble putting Adam to rest. Amy and Juan are accosted and she gets gang-raped. The funeral party all menggelabah for some reason. Amy gets outed as a transsexual, and Juan leaves her. They try to bury Adam, but "bumi tidak menerimanya" or something. Amy commits suicide, and we finally learn that she is in fact Adam post-sex change. Iye ke??

Sebenarnya saya teringin nak mempertahankan filem ni. dR Rozmey (yes, that's how he likes to write his own name) memang gila bongkak dan bodoh nak cari gaduh dengan media, tapi saya pun kurang percaya dengan integriti wartawan hiburan tempatan. Banyak lagi filem Melayu yang busuk macam taik, tapi ini je diorang hentam bertubi-tubi. Kenapa? Sebab butthurt ada orang cabar kewibawaan anda dalam dunia hiburan tempatan? Juga, saya dah biasa dengan kebusukan dan ketaikan filem tempatan yang tipikal, jadi saya pun sangsi dengar orang kata inilah filem yang paling teruk sekali. Kalau saya bagi 1-½ bintang pun, setanding dengan banyak filem lain yang pernah di-release-kan tahun ni. Tapi bila tonton je filem 2 Alam ni, terpaksa juga memberinya rating saya yang paling rendah. Ini filem yang amat teramat-amat... aku nak cari perkataan dalam BM yang membawa maksud "incompetent". "Tidak cekap" is too much of an understatement.

Dari memula lagi filem ini memenuhi pengambilan harian WTF yang disyorkan. Selama dua minit dia tunjuk beberapa ayat onscreen macam opening text crawl of Star Wars, ataupun filem Jalang (nanti, kejap lagi I get back to this); ayat-ayat ini hanya menimbulkan keinginan untuk menggaru kepala. Menurut sinopsis dalam press release, filem ini mengisahkan jenazah Amy/Adam yang tidak diterima bumi. Ini bukan premis cerita ni, ini klimaks. Lepas 1-½ jam baru kita nampak peristiwa seram ini berlaku, padahal ini kononnya cerita seram. Memang ia bukan, sebab tu saya tak bubuh label "Horror" kat post ni. Ada babak dimana van yang membawa jenazah tiba-tiba pecah tayarnya - tapi kita tak nampak pun tayar pecah. Cuma nampak muka orang terkejut dan berkata "Eh, tayar pecah!" Adegan bumi menolak mayat pun macam hape ntah, takdepape special effects pun. Inike filem yang dilaporkan memakan belanja RM2.5 juta? Crayon yang bajetnya satu perlima daripada ngkau pun lagi elok pembikinannya.

Nak lagi? Boleeeeh. Jalan ceritanya, kejap tunjuk pengebumian, kejap tunjuk hidup Amy yang terlampau. Kononnya flashback, tapi kaitannya tidak disampaikan - kalau tak baca sinopsis dulu, langsung takkan tahu apa kena-mengena satu sama lain. Si Amy ni, kejap kita tengok dia berjoli dan bercumbu dengan pakwe dia, kejap kita tengok dia beromen dengan some random old guy. Ada satu babak Juan melamarnya, the next scene dia kahwin dengan... seorang mamat omputih. Lepas Amy kena rogol, rahsia dia dulu lelaki terdedah... macam mana? Perogol dia buat interbiu dengan Kosmo! ke? And then there's this scene after they've broken up, in which they both mope around the same swimming pool - sometimes in it - but are seemingly unaware of each other's presences. Mungkin adegan inilah yang menjadi penjelasan buat tajuk 2 Alam ni: dua-dua berada dalam tempat yang sama tapi phased out of each other's realities.

Pendek kata (too late!), this movie is shit. Tapi siapa yang memberakkannya? dR Rozmey cuma penerbit; kita lihat siapa penulis skrip, iaitu seorang mamat bernama Imran bin Haji Ismail. Beliau juga telah menjayakan mengeluarkan filem Jalang tahun 2009, which explains a lot. Filem ini penuh dengan pendiriannya yang misogynist dan mencaci kaum wanita, sama macam Jalang. Kena rogol tu dosa ke?? Perempuan yang diperguna, dianiaya and diperkosa, patut masuk neraka?? Amy yang mengubah jantina lebih keji daripada ketiga-tiga perogolnya yang tidak mendapat apa-apa hukuman?? Kau sukaaaa sangat nak tunjuk Amy seksa dan sengsara, sampai dia dah mampus pun kau nak jahanamkan dia lagi?? Who the fuck is this guy?? Ustaz ke imam ke apa, sampai dia mengarang sebuah khutbah yang disampaikan melalui voice-over untuk mengakhiri filem ni?? What a vile, hateful, disgusting little twerp this Imran Ismail must be. Ptui!

Oh, sori. Terlupa I nak bagi amaran untuk bahasa kasar di permulaan rebiu ini. Tapi jujurnya, saya tak naik geram sangat dengan filem ni sepertimana filem-filem 1 bintang yang lain. Sebab saya masih berpendapat bahawa filem ini telah menerima kritikan yang tidak adil. Flashback berulang yang hanya memanjangkan masa? Andartu Terlampau pun ada. Soundtrack yang asyik mengulang lagu yang sama? Lagenda Budak Setan pun ada. Nilai produksi yang menghampakan dan memalukan? Banyak filem tempatan pun ada. Dan dalam setiap rebiu yang saya baca, tak ada satu pun yang mengatakan dosanya yang terbesar, iaitu sifat misoginisnya. Belahlah korang, wartawan hiburan. Kalau David Teo buat event untuk korang bersembang dengan pelakon, beriya-iya kau nak hisap kote dia. Aku tak nak ada apape kena-mengena dengan korang.

Saya ada terfikir nak bagi rating 1-½ bintang, sebab ia ada satu saving grace; Suhaillah Salam ada bakat jugaklah. Walaupun dia hanya menggedik, meraung dan menangis dalam filem ni, namun dia cukup komited dengan lakonannya. Malangnya, saya khuatir namanya dah tercemar habis akibat penglibatannya dalam projek ini, dan kariernya dalam industri filem Malaysia (dia orang Singapura) dah lahir mati. Pendapat saya, nama yang benar-benar patut dicemar ialah Imran Ismail; insyallah, kariernya pun bakal terhempas dan terbakar. Dan bagaimana pula dengan dR Rozmey? Stupid rich guy who made a movie that he claimed will make RM40 million, that turned out to be the biggest joke of the year? Saya rasa, usahlah pertikaikan dia lagi. Alam yang didiaminya memang dah tercerai dari realiti.

NEXT REVIEW: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part 1
Expectations: at LAST

A kid's crayon drawing is always earnest, but never very good

Crayon
My rating:




So the big deal about this movie is that it's the first Malaysian film released in the U.S. Sounds impressive, until you get to the caveats: it'll only be shown for 7 days in one tiny little cinema, part of a family-run chain that specialises in short films, documentaries and arthouse fare. So, bravo to ZiOSS Films for self-promotion, but don't try to kid us that this is a particularly impressive accomplishment. You're dealing with TMBF here - intrepid film critic, fearless penetrator of hype and propaganda, and uncoverer extraordinaire of what a movie is really all about.

No, it's not very good. But as the first local film shown in the States, we could do a lot worse.

Adam (Hon Kahoe) and Rafaat (Faisal Abdullah) are students in Singapore who volunteer for a social welfare program that places them with Rumahku, an isolated orphanage located in the east coast of Malaysia and run by Mak Engku (Adibah Noor). Adam is a cynic and Rafaat thinks little of the "ulu" life, but they soon discover a sense of purpose in caring for the orphans - especially Afiq (Joshry Adamme), whose exuberance quickly wins them over - and helping Mak Engku raise funds. But the orphanage sits on prime beachfront land that greedy developers have their eye on, and they've hired two thugs (Joey and Acong) to cause trouble.

It's not-very-goodness is evident from the start. The dialogue is terribly on-the-nose and the acting is embarrassingly stiff, and neither ever get much better throughout its running time. Its humour is of the cartoonish and overly-cute variety, except for a sudden and jarring tonal shift into tragedy later on. And for a film that claims to be "inspired by true events" - which is a pretty damn dissembling statement - its storyline smacks of contrivance and willful disregard of realism. I'm sure plenty of real-life charities find it hard to get funding, but I can't believe a big corporation like the GRDY Bank (cute, izznit?) would be so callous towards an orphanage, not to mention careless with its PR image. And then, Adam and Rafaat's brilliant idea to solve all of Mak Engku's money woes is to put on a show.

But you know what comes across? Its earnestness. It is oh so earnest in its humanist and humanitarian message, which it really really wants people to get - so much so that when Rafaat says "ala, budak ni" to Afiq, the subtitles helpfully inform us that it's a "[Colloquial Term of Endearment]". It does a lot with a relatively tiny RM500,000 budget, which occasionally shows - we never see an exterior shot of the orphanage house, for example. It's not afraid to take potshots at Chinese prejudices against Malays, or Singaporeans' preconceptions of Malaysia. Yet it is so much more genuine and big-hearted than the average Malay movie's "unsur-unsur moral" (which is often just sheer hypocrisy). And it's a much more "1Malaysia" film than Estet, seeing as it has English and Mandarin dialogue on top of BM and a non-Malay lead that doesn't play second fiddle to Farid Kamil.

Speaking of whom - Hon Kahoe is awful. Sorry dude, you really are. You are kayu as hell, and you have the uncanny ability to get nearly every line reading wrong. It's very likely because of poor direction from Dean Burhanuddin, whose screenplay puts you in the most emotionally taxing role and has you do a scene in which you curse the heavens in grief and anger - a scene that can challenge even the greatest of actors. I'm making apologies for you because dude, I like you. You got the looks that can get females of all races swooning, and that could make you one of the few bankable non-Malay lead actors in our local film industry. (Seriously, ladies. Budak Cina ni hensem giler babi.) Yasmin Ahmad gave you your big break in Talentime because she saw something in you, but if you're to live up to that potential, dude, you gotta start taking acting lessons.

Then again, it has Adibah Noor. She single-handedly saves every scene she appears in from Hon and Faisal and anyone else in the cast. She's got to be one of the most likable actors working in the local industry today, and one of very few who can earn a laugh just by being in the scene. (What I wouldn't give to see her together with Afdlin Shauki and Harun Salim Bachik.) She's far more charming than Joshry Adamme, who is nowhere near as adorable as the film wants you to think he is. Faisal Abdullah is alright, mostly because he doesn't have as much to do as Hon. Joey and Acong, rock band members-turned-first-time-actors, would actually be quite fun to watch - that is, if Dean hadn't stuck them with this schtick in which Acong bursts into tears every time Joey scolds him. That was pretty annoying.

But as a film that aspires to represent Malaysia on the world stage - or at least, Laemmle Theatres in West Hollywood, Los Angeles - Crayon is worthy. It does a nice job of portraying the unique little touches of our multi-cultural milieu, albeit in a sanitised, foreign-viewer-friendly manner - but as Yasmin Ahmad has shown, ain't nothing wrong with that. Like the spunky orphan kids who get people paying to watch them sing "Ibu Engkaulah Ratu Hatiku", you just can't help admiring its moxie. (And you can't help but decry how creatively bankrupt our film industry is, when a formulaic feel-good movie like this can be deemed "tidak komersial".) This, in a nutshell, is what it's really all about: not much to like, but quite a bit to admire, at least.

NEXT REVIEW: 2 Alam
Expectations: oh, how bad can it be?

Let this be the spookiest movie you'll watch this year

Let Me In
My rating:




I'd been looking for Let the Right One In for ages. I'd heard so much about it; I'm always keen on fresh and unique takes on genre tropes, and you couldn't get much fresher or more unique than a Swedish horror movie about a 12-year-old girl vampire. But it was bloody hard to find though, and it wasn't till days before the local release of Let Me In - the Hollywood remake - that a friend finally loaned me his copy. And I'd really wanted to see it before I watched the remake too - but as you can probably tell by how late my reviews are nowadays, my time management pretty much sucks.

Now I'm glad I saw the remake before the original. But I'm not glad I went and spoiled so much of it for myself.

Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee) is 12 years old, living in wintry Los Alamos in 1983, child of a divorced mother, and frequent target of a particularly sadistic bully (Dylan Minnette). His alienation and misery seem unending, until newcomers move in to the apartment next door: Abby (Chloë Grace Moretz), a girl his age, and an older man (Richard Jenkins). A friendship grows between Owen and Abby, even as their town is rocked by a series of murders - murders committed by Abby's "father". It soon becomes clear that Abby is a vampire, an immortal creature who lives on human blood provided by her guardian. Meanwhile, a police detective's (Elias Koteas) investigations of the murders draw closer and closer to Abby and Owen.

First, for those who know nothing about either this movie or the original Swedish film. This is a quiet, haunting, and pretty damn disturbing horror movie - which means it'll go largely unappreciated by Malaysian audiences. I'm not usually one to snob over my fellow movie-goer (actually I am, but I don't do it often on this blog), but I watched this while sitting next to a bunch of teenagers who wouldn't stop giggling through it all. Sadly, this is just the movie that will raise giggles amongst their kind, which is both an indictment on the stupidity of teenagers and a testament to the film's uniqueness. Which may have come from the Swedish original - and the novel on which it is based - but I'll put my critic cred on the line now and say the remake is better.

Yes, I finally did watch Let the Right One In, and Let Me In really is better. It's a far more slick production, it has better production values and acting, it emphasizes the horror elements more, but it doesn't in fact sacrifice the mood and themes of the original. In terms of mood, director Matt Reeves keeps things slow and methodical throughout, which only emphasizes the few bursts of bloody violence. The original had a stark fluorescent white look throughout, which may well reflect what a typical suburb in Sweden looks like, but Reeves gives his film far darker, gloomier, and overall more effective lighting. And I didn't think the director of Cloverfield had it in him, but he has a terrific eye for setting scenes, especially the scary parts (even if some of them were lifted wholesale from the original). But it is in the storyline and themes - and how it occasionally goes even further in portraying those themes than the original film - that makes it exceptional.

Because I meant it when I called this movie disturbing. On the surface it's a romance between a shy, awkward 12-year-old boy with a girl his age - but the girl is not only a supernatural, murderous predator, she is also much, much older than she looks. In a remarkably subtle scene, the relationship between Abby and her "father" takes on an incredibly creepy turn, and the creepiness extends to a later part when she attempts to seduce Owen by climbing into his bed naked. And it's not at all exploitative or puerile (despite what those morons who sat next to me thought); Owen is no healthy and well-adjusted child himself, what with his fantasies of violent retribution against his bullies. But when he spied on his neighbours, he turned away when they started having sex - and when he sees two older teenagers making out, his expression is one of disgust. Sexuality scares him, and thus Abby's seduction does not go the way she planned - but it does not stop him from falling for her.

Yii, child sexuality and hints of pedophilia. Amazing that such a movie like this could ever get made, especially in Hollywood - but only Hollywood has actors like Kodi Smit-McPhee and Chloë Grace Moretz, for whom this is a terrific vehicle for their talents. They are both flawless, and better than their Swedish counterparts; for one thing, Moretz is much prettier than Lina Leandersson, which makes Abby more believable as an object of obsession for males of all ages. Moretz is more famous due to her turn as Hit-Girl (and she proves capable of far more than just acrobatic fight scenes and uttering profanities), but Smit-McPhee arguably has the more difficult job portraying Owen, who is a stew of anxieties, insecurities, fears and desires. Elias Koteas and Richard Jenkins provide able support, but this film is all about the two children; note how throughout the movie, Reeves takes care to never show Owen's mother's face.

It's only noticeable fault is a slight cheesiness in the effects, during the parts in which Abby turns into an obvious and not-very-smoothly-animated CGI creature. And personally, the ending was a tad disappointing to me; it has a sense of inevitability to it, but after having read so much about Let the Right One In and its plot (even though I thought I was careful with spoilers), it came off to me as predictable. But that's just me and my weakness for over-researching movies before I watch them. If you've heard little about this movie, or the Swedish original, don't Google it - just go watch it now. Put in some patience and some open-mindedness, and you'll be rewarded with one of the freshest and most unique (those words again!) horror movies you'll see all year. In fact, if it weren't for those dumb teenagers, I might even have given it 4-½ stars.

NEXT MOVIE: Crayon
Expectations: ditayangkan di Los Angeles ye? Kita tengok kalau layak ke tak

Aliens want to kidnap a bunch of morons

Skyline
My rating:




I liked Cloverfield. The most common criticism I've heard against it is that the characters were annoying and unsympathetic, but I disagree. I liked them. I thought they were real and human. And I felt for the guy who ventured through a monster-invaded city to rescue his lady love, even though they broke up after spending just one day together and they never resolved their issues and he was about to fly off abroad and I could relate to that. I mention all this because Skyline is not dissimilar to Cloverfield; it tells of a similarly massive SFnal event through the perspective of a group of ordinary folks, instead of the heroic scientists/soldiers/President whose job it is to deal with the situation.

Now I know what everyone who hated Cloverfield felt.

Jarrod (Eric Balfour) and his girlfriend Elaine (Scottie Thompson) have just arrived in Los Angeles to celebrate Jarrod's best friend Terry's (Donald Faison) birthday; having made it big in L.A., Terry shows off his swanky penthouse to Jarrod and Elaine, accompanied by his girlfriend Candice (Brittany Daniel) and personal assistant Denise (Crystal Reed). But the morning after the party, strange blue lights descend from the sky - lights that have mysterious hypnotic effects. Soon, giant alien spaceships descend over the city, whose purpose appear to be abducting humans en masse. Later joined by apartment building concierge Oliver (David Zayas), the group must fight to survive against various alien creatures bent on capturing them all.

The Brothers Strause - Greg and Colin - who directed this movie, also directed Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, which is widely regarded as the absolute lowest point that both the Alien and Predator franchises could sink. (I haven't watched it, and have no particular inclination to.) By no means do they redeem themselves here - far from it - but before we get to them I would like to discuss the work of one Joshua Cordes and one Liam O'Donnell. They are the co-screenwriters of Skyline. They created these characters. They wrote their dialogue. They crafted the plot. And they suck.

Actually, my title for this post is a bit of a misnomer. Yes, the characters are incredibly, infuriatingly dumb. They argue over whether to stay in the apartment building or make a run for it to the coast, but instead of intelligently deliberating each option, all they do is bicker. Terry is cheating on Candice with Denise, and they bicker over this. Elaine is pregnant, and because Jarrod is less than thrilled by this, she frequently goes off in a snit. Due to his prolonged exposure, the blue light appears to have lingering effects on Jarrod, but instead of telling everyone, he just snaps at his girlfriend. All this has the same effect on me that Cuti-Cuti Cinta did: these aren't people to me anymore, they're characters playing out a very lousy screenplay. They aren't the morons; Cordes and O'Donnell are.

Seriously, this is the most inept screenplay I've seen filmed since The Last Airbender. The plot is equally dumb; these folks run helter skelter while big alien beasties chase them, but never go anywhere. They end up right back at Terry's apartment every time, for seemingly no other reason than to keep the budget small by shooting in one location. But it is in the dialogue and characterization - or lack thereof - that Skyline truly stands out. None of these people display any intelligence nor have any discernible personality, whether in the script or in the performances. I'm usually quite kind to actors working with bad material, but not this time; this bunch of C-list TV guest-star regulars are exactly as painfully dull as their unknown status would indicate.

And the directors don't fare any better either. The Strauses started out as FX artists, so the effects look pretty polished at the very least - and at a relatively tiny $10 million budget, you might even call it an accomplishment. But the action scenes are uninspired, largely because they're all cribbed from other movies that did them better. There's a giant monster bit from Godzilla, a hiding-from-alien-tentacle bit from War of the Worlds, an aerial battle from Independence Day, and a nuking-the-mothership bit from, again, Independence Day. Even the supposedly-shocking death of a main character early on, and a suicidal last stand of another near the end, have a been-there-done-that feel. The one original thing the movie had were the (admittedly impressive, at the time) scenes in the trailers of hundreds of people being vacuumed up into the ships...

...and this stupid movie can't even pay that off satisfyingly. I spent the whole time waiting for an explanation why the aliens were abducting people instead of just killing them, and the one I got at the end was barely even an explanation. In fact, it's barely even an ending. I don't mind films that end on sequel hooks, but Skyline's ending renders the entire story pointless. Ninety minutes of a bunch of vapid, shallow, stupid people running around, and it's only in the last 5 that something finally happens - but if you want more, you'll have to catch the sequel. I strongly advise you not to bother, nor with any other movie the Brothers Strause ever make. Go watch Cloverfield instead.

NEXT REVIEW: Let Me In
Expectations: let me watch the original first

Shaolin Soccer versi 1Malaysia yang jauh lebih kecundang

Estet
My rating:




Mamat Khalid has been building a reputation as Malaysia's most idiosyncratic filmmaker. He made Kala Malam Bulan Mengambang, which is a surreal noir pastiche filmed in black-and-white. He made Zombi Kampung Pisang, which is, well, a kampung zombie movie. He made Rock, which is a tribute to the Malay rock scene of the '80s. And he's in the midst of making Apokalips, which appears to be Malaysia's first anime-inspired post-apocalyptic sci-fi action movie. All of which sound leaps and bounds more imaginative than the typical Malay flicks of today - and none of which I've actually seen. So I went into my first Mamat Khalid movie with high hopes, having heard that it's a Kollywood-inspired musical set in the Malaysian Indian community.

Malangnya, Estet amat menghampakan.

Farid (Farid Kamil) and Shashi (Shashi Tharan) are happy-go-lucky best friends who live and work in the Estet Cinta Manis rubber plantation, and frequently lock horns with the evil estate manager Pooniah (S. Veerasingam), who for some reason wants to ruin his own plantation. He gets his chance with an upcoming football match against Estet Red Cobra, whose team is led by the even-more-evil Junna (Soffi Jikan). Pooniah blackmails Cinta Manis' football coach Subra (K.S. Maniam) - if Cinta Manis loses, Subra's daughter Geetha (Jasmine Michael), who loves Farid, must marry Pooniah. Meanwhile, Shashi's alcoholic father Gandhi (T. Gandhi Nathan), who was once Cinta Manis' star striker, must sober up long enough to help Subra train the team. Also a mysterious stranger named Kublai Khan (Rajinikanth Vijayakumar Rosyam Nor) shows up to offer his own brand of aid.

Okey, memang saya tak tahu-menahu tentang filem Tamil. Tak pernah saya tengok sebuah filem Tamil dari mula sampai akhir. Jadi mula-mula saya khuatir, kerana Estet jelas meng-homage-kan konvensyen filem Tamil, dari segi jalan cerita, garapan, mahupun lakonan. Saya takde frame of reference; takde apa-apa yang boleh dibandingkan untuk menilai filem ini. Tapi after a while, makin ketara bahawa Estet juga meng-ripoff-kan filem Shaolin Soccer arahan Stephen Chow; ada perlawanan bola, ada kemahiran bola yang luarbiasa, ada goalkeeper peniru Michael Jackson mengganti Bruce Lee, dan ada adegan dimana bola tetiba jadi CGI. Saya suka giler Shaolin Soccer. Saya amat arif tentang filem itu. Dan yang jelas ketara ialah, dari segala aspek dimana Shaolin Soccer berjaya, Estet gagal sama sekali.

Komedi tak kelakar. Drama tak menyayat hati. Jalan cerita tak bersambung. Perwatakan tak masuk akal. Muzikal, hanya ada tiga babak nyanyian - dua masa mula dan akhir, satu kat tetengah tapi sekejap je macam kena censored. Aksi... okaylah, it does have a somewhat impressively acrobatic stunt team. Tapi setakat itu saja kelebihan Estet dari mana-mana filem tempatan lain. Lakonan pun susah nak kata bagus atau tidak, because Mamat's screenplay gives little for the actors to work with. Contohnya kisah cinta Geetha dan Farid, dimana dialog mereka lebih seakan budak belasan tahun daripada orang dewasa - dan pada suatu ketika, Farid macam cemburukan Shashi entah sebab apa.

Dan pada suatu ketika, ada seorang anggota pasukan bola Estet Cinta Manis yang tetiba nak jadi pelacur mak nyah. Apekebende?? Ini sebuah adegan yang penuh dengan WTF gred A1. Is this supposed to be funny? Kemudian dia dipukul dan dirompak oleh customernya, dan you nak kita ketawa masa ni ke, Tuan Pengarah? Ada satu lagi babak dimana seorang watak cuba membunuh diri, dan ini juga dipersembahkan sebagai bahan lawak. Susah aku nak percaya Mamat Khalid terkenal sebagai pengarah komedi, jika beginilah kepekaan komedinya. Watak Kublai Khan pula, who is clearly a parody of a typical Tamil movie hero - but he's played by Rosyam Nor, who, tabley laa. Watak ini antara idea Mamat yang berpotensi, tapi garapannya gagal. Rosyam langsung tak dapat meniru gaya hero filem Tamil. Dia kayu.

Antara para pelakonnya, hanya Soffi Jikan saja yang berjaya membawa wataknya. Like Shaolin Soccer's Team Evil, Junna is so bad he can make it rain out of sheer desire to ruin everyone's day. Bes kalau ada lebih elemen over-the-top macam ni, tapi yang ada tak cukup. Jasmine Michael hanya sekadar gula-gula mata. S. Veerasingam is mostly annoying. Shashi Tharan ada bakat, tapi skrip tidak memberinya peluang untuk menyerlahkannya. (What's sad is that he's not likely to ever get another lead role in a local film.) Samalah dengan K.S. Maniam dan T. Gandhi Nathan. And by the way, aku betul-betul frust bila sebuah filem memberi nama kepada watak yang sama dengan nama pelakonnya. Rajin la sket woi!

Jujurnya, antara unsur Estet yang paling memuaskan ialah paparan kaum India yang tinggal di ladang getah, serta pelakon-pelakon India yang jarang kita lihat dalam filem tempatan. Kalau Mamat nak mengalu-alukannya sebagai filem 1Malaysia, memang layak lah. Tapi rungutan dia selepas gagal memenangi Filem Terbaik mahupun Pengarah Terbaik FFM23 membuat saya syak; macam dia bikin filem ni sebab saja nak menang award. Baru ingat, sebenarnya saya pernah juga menonton sebuah filem Mamat Khalid: Puteri Gunung Ledang, dimana skrip di-co-written olehnya. Dan itu sebuah filem dimana segala masalahnya terletak dalam skrip. Saya masih gian nak tengok Apokalips, tapi toksahlah merengek, Mamat Khalid. Awak kalah kepada Magika memang adil.

NEXT REVIEW: Skyline
Expectations: doesn't look good

All is forgiven, Tony Scott

Unstoppable
My rating:




Not a year and a half after the last Tony Scott-Denzel Washington collaboration, we get a new one. And since I didn't much like that last one, I went into this with less-than-sky-high expectations. I was especially worried about the fact that my seat was about 5 rows from the screen, which is never advisable when it comes to Tony Scott movies; his needlessly flashy, ever-moving camera is almost as bad as "found footage"-type films like Cloverfield or Paranormal Activity. I would very much like for my head not to pound, thank you.

But if it can get my heart pounding, it's all good.

Will Colson (Chris Pine) is a rookie train conductor assigned to work with veteran engineer Frank Barnes (Denzel Washington) at the Pennsylvania train yards. Meanwhile, at another yard, a careless railroad worker (Ethan Suplee) leaves a train running unmanned under full power - a half-mile-long, several-thousand-ton behemoth barreling at 70mph, carrying toxic chemicals, and heading straight for densely populated areas. Yardmaster Connie Hooper (Rosario Dawson) tries to coordinate operations whilst locking horns with bean-counting train company executive Oscar Galvin (Kevin Dunn), and railroad welder Ned Oldham (Lew Temple) races to catch up with the runaway train. But their best hope may be Colson and Barnes, who are on a train on the same track, and Barnes' daring plan to slow it down.

Aside from Scott's hyperactive directing, my other beef with The Taking of Pelham 123 was its been-there-done-that hostage thriller premise. That's not the case here. Unstoppable has been inviting unflattering comparisons to 1994's Speed, but it's an entirely different dynamic - and while the execution often falls back on clichés, the premise is fresh enough to be notable. Or rather, Scott makes it fresh enough. Looking back over the man's filmography, it's apparent that this film is a serendipitous match between filmmaker and material that Scott has never really had before.

Because if you're making an action-thriller about a runaway train, it's a smart idea to turn the train into the villain - faceless, implacable, terrifying in its sheer size and power and, well, unstoppability. That's something Scott does very well here, shooting it in low angles and tight closeups and aided by a thundering digital soundtrack. Mark Bomback's screenplay offers it plenty of things to threaten, from another train full of schoolchildren to a fuel oil depot next to a sharp curve, and Scott crafts each one into a terrifically suspenseful moment. He even manages to make a simple stunt like jumping from a car onto the train - an act that dozens of other movies have made look deceptively easy - into a white-knuckle experience.

There are the aforementioned clichés though. You've got your Evil Corporate Executive whose eye on the bottom line jeopardises the efforts of the regular blue-collar heroes who don't care 'bout no stock value. You've got people tangentially related to the heroes (their railway buddies, Frank's daughters) cheering them on whilst watching them on the TV news. You've got personal issues for both protagonists - Will is estranged from his wife, Frank forgot a daughter's birthday - that are readily resolved through the simple expedient of becoming an action hero. You kinda expect these things in a typical Hollywood flick, so they don't detract from the proceedings much - especially when the proceedings are so well done - but it would've been a better movie without them.

It helps that there's plenty of great talent both behind and in front of the camera. Bomback's sharp, witty dialogue help sell the expected buddy-bonding scenes between Frank and Will, as well as the arguing between Hooper and Galvin (although there was one laughable instance where Hooper turned into Basil Exposition). Rosario Dawson in the former role is great; she's been mere eye candy in so many movies, she must have relished playing a smart, tough character like this. Chris Pine is perfectly convincing as a regular working-class joe and shares some solid chemistry with Denzel Washington, who does his usual good job; although I gotta say, Washington is practically playing the same character in every movie nowadays. He even has a distinctive speech pattern that never varies.

So all props to Mr. Tony Scott then, for making a movie that made me feel a little bad for trashing his previous one so much. (Well, 2-½ stars wasn't exactly trashing, but I was harsher on him than the movie overall.) Thing is, the guy can be pretty inconsistent. Unstoppable works because Scott managed to make his signature style serve its premise - but few of his other films have been as strongly high-concept as this. Maybe for him it's not so much finding the right material as it is restraining his most indulgent directorial flourishes; maybe he just needs to make more Crimson Tides and less Dominos. In any case, I shall be anticipating his next movie - whether or not it stars Washington again - with a little more positivity. 'Cos this one was great.

NEXT REVIEW: Estet
Expectations: let's see what Mamat Khalid's got

Who's minding the kiddies?

Megamind
My rating:




Ah, parallel development. Just 4 months ago we had an animated film about supervillains, and now we have another one. Despicable Me was released by Universal Studios, who is somewhat of an also-ran in the animated movie race - and its most illustrious credit is producer Chris Meledandri, who made the Ice Age series, which, well, speaks for itself. Megamind, on the other hand, is made by DreamWorks Animation; they're no Pixar, but they have been on a roll lately with Kung Fu Panda and How to Train Your Dragon. On the gripping hand, their roll has only started lately; all this while they've been known as the studio that makes derivative kiddie crap. Two well-regarded releases aren't enough to change that reputation just yet.

Nor will this one do it. But at least it's a good deal better than Despicable Me.

The blue-skinned, macrocephalic alien Megamind (Will Ferrell) is the supervillain of Metro City and the arch-nemesis of Metro Man (Brad Pitt) - a rivalry forged since infancy when both came to Earth as the sole survivors of dying planets. But owing to drastically different upbringings, one became a beloved hero and the other, a despised outcast, with only his loyal minion Minion (David Cross) - a fish in a robot gorilla body - for company. But one day, the unthinkable happens - Megamind finally defeats Metro Man for good, as witnessed by intrepid reporter Roxanne Ritchi (Tina Fey) and the whole of Metro City. His elation soon turns to boredom, however, and he yearns for new challenges as well as a return to the old ones. He seeks the former by romancing Roxanne, albeit disguised as some guy named Bernard - and he aims to satisfy the latter by creating a new superhero with Metro Man's powers, picking Roxanne's cameraman Hal (Jonah Hill) for the job.

Yeah, movie, I see what you did there. You're spoofing Superman. You're speculating what would happen if Lex Luthor finally killed Superman, and that maybe he's not such a bad sort after all, maybe he's just misunderstood, maybe he could become good if only that strutting Mr. Goody Two Shoes were out of the way. Not that we'd want to see this in an actual Superman story - because come on, archetypes are archetypes - but it's a neat premise on which to hang a somewhat-satirical take on superheroes. And the movie does a generally smart and witty job at overturning the conventions and earning sympathy for it's good bad guy. (Or is that bad good guy...)

Because come on, who doesn't root for the underdog? And the movie takes special care to cement Megamind as the underdog; the prologue portrays him as the prototypical well-meaning bullied kid, whereas Metro Man and all the adulation he receives - exceeded only by his love for himself - is very easy to hate. Not a subtle approach to earning the audience's sympathy for the antihero, but it works. Equally unsubtle is pitting him against a bona fide unsympathetic villain, but this one works a little better for being another inversion of the superhero/supervillain dynamic. Hal, going by his new moniker of Titan, has all the trappings of a hero, but is far more petty, self-centered and destructive than Megamind ever was. This, plus his romance with Roxanne, are the catalysts for his transformation from villain to hero, and it's always neat to see a movie that takes pains to make its protagonist earn his character arc.

The funny thing is that it may have went to too great pains. You expect an animated film to be laugh-a-minute and thrill-a-minute; Pixar especially are masters of this kind of boundlessly entertaining filmmaking that yet never sacrifices storytelling. Megamind often feels slow - especially in its later half, leading up to the big action-packed climax, which feels like character after character making one heartfelt speech after another. This plus the many obscure joke references ("Space Dad" a la Don Corleone is a particularly clever one - if you get it) makes for a family-friendly movie that curiously goes a little too far in the "fun for adults too!" direction; the kids in my audience were noticeably restless and bored at many parts.

But hey, they're kids, they don't know anything. (Seriously, they don't. If you were to judge popular entertainment by how much children like it, you'd have to hail Barney & Friends as a masterpiece.) And when the pace picks up it picks up good, with action scenes that feel as big and spectacular as a good superhero movie ought to, and that's something not all superhero movies do well. It's got Will Ferrell, who probably improvised a lot of his own dialogue; he's funny enough, although quirks like Megamind's frequent mispronunciation of words feel like someone's icing on someone else's cake. And it's got Tina Fey and David Cross, who have been much, much funnier elsewhere - watch this for a sampling of what Cross can do - but at least they're perfectly competent here.

So it's a perfectly, inoffensively enjoyable movie. Never as good as anything from Pixar, but at least never as lazy and pandering as Despicable Me either. It isn't gonna crown DreamWorks the new king of animated films or anything, but one thing it does do is highlight how their approach to filmmaking differs from Pixar's. To summarise that linked article's salient points, while Pixar creates unique and wildly original story worlds, DreamWorks is content to play with established genres and tropes. Which makes for much better - and smarter - movies than mere funny talking animals, even if they may never have yet to match Pixar for sheer storytelling craft.

NEXT REVIEW: Unstoppable
Expectations: Tony Scott, please don't do another Tony Scott

Sebuah filem yang taik dan haprak (tapi filem yang seterusnya okey)

Cuti-Cuti Cinta
My rating:




Ada apa dengan Ahmad Idham? Truly, a question for the ages. The man is undoubtedly Malaysia's most prolific film director, having made 5 movies this year alone (one of which I missed) and has 2 others in development. Now, jika anda tertanya-tanya bagaimanakah beliau sempat begitu produktif membikin filem, jawapannya mudah: beliau main lantak je. Tulis skrip 3 hari, shooting 4 minggu (lama sket, sebab kalo lokasi tu sebuah hotel di Morib, bolehlah cuti free sekali), post 2 minggu, siap satu projek; lepas rilek 2 minggu, start projek baru. The funny thing is that kualiti filem-filemnya tak konsisten; mostly busuk macam taik kucing, tapi kangkadang not bad jugak. Kenapa agaknya?

Jawapannya mudah: the man takes credit for other people's work.

Eva (Nora Danish) is a stuckup rich bitch who catches her fiance Remy (Zed Zaidi) with another woman, so she pitches a hissy fit and runs off to a beach resort in Morib. There she makes an absolute nuisance of herself to the hotel manager Mahmood (Cat Farish) and his staff, which includes Kris Dayana (Wangi), Maliq (Adeep), Faus (Zizie) and Omar (Farid Kamil). But because Omar looks like Farid Kamil and Eva looks like Nora Danish, they get the hots for each other, which comes to a head when they end up stranded on a deserted island together. Under such contrived circumstances, a romance improbably develops; meanwhile, Remy shows up at the hotel with Eva's insanely stupid parents (Zaibo and Azizah Mahzan) in tow to annoy the audience (more than usual).

TMBF dah lama tak bagi rating 1-½ bintang kat filem Melayu, kan? Banyak yang dah dapat 2 bintang atau lebih. Adakah ini suatu petanda bahawa saya sudah di-brainwash-kan akibat terlalu kerap menonton filem yang lahabau dan laknat? Kalau tiap-tiap hari makan taik, makin lama taik pun makin sedap. Kerna inilah, dalam kepayahan dan keseksaan menonton filem ini, ada juga keterujaan hendak memberi rating 1 bintang kepada filem ini yang betul-betul layak diberi 1 bintang. Seriously, I couldn't wait to unleash the rage on this piece of shit.

Contohnya watak Eva. Now, normally I take a movie on its own terms; I talk about the characters as if they were real people. But Eva is so over-the-top stupid and annoying that I can't help but see her as a character written by morons. Adeke orang yang begitu angkuh dan bebal sehingga dia sengaja nak ikut staf hotel berempat tu naik bot tangkap ikan, sedangkan dia memang tau mereka benci dia? Saja nak bagi peluang untuk mereka melihat dirinya dihina? Pompuan jatuh dalam laut, kah kah kelakar betui. Watak yang bodoh, dalam cerita yang bodoh, sudah pasti dikarang oleh penulis yang bodoh yang menganggap penonton juga sama bodoh.

And have these guys ever stayed in a hotel in their lives? Mana ada hotel staff yang boleh marah balik kat guest, walau betapa cerewetnya guest tu? Marah guest depan manager pulak tu; manager menyerah kepada staff pulak tu. Lepas tu, berani nak cari gaduh dengan guest. Saya dah nak ulang kritikan yang saya tulis dalam rebiu Kecoh Betul - inilah filem yang menjatuhkan martabat bangsa Melayu, kerana orang Melayu yang buat kerja dengan tidak amanah, tidak cekap dan tidak boleh diharap, dilihat sebagai perkara biasa. Tak payah nak sebut pasal filem rempit atau adegan "panas"; filem inilah yang betul-betul boleh merosakkan akhlak masyarakat.

But then a curious thing happened, and it happened around the time Eva and Omar get stranded on their island. Filem ini mula bertambah baik! Serius! Kedua-dua mereka mula menjalinkan ikatan yang ikhlas dan sejati, hasil daripada dialog antara mereka yang tiba-tiba tak bangang macam tadi. What I found impressive was that they didn't just harp on the "orang kampung baik dan suci, orang kota jahat dan keji" theme; there was a real attempt to make the city girl and the kampung boy see each other's point of view. Ada juga subplot tentang Faus yang dah lama ada hati dengan Omar, dan ini pun diselesaikan dengan bijak dan matang. Malah Mahmood, watak yang paling menjengkelkan dalam cerita ini, gets a chance to do a George McFly. Bagaimana ini boleh terjadi??

Jawapannya berada dalam the credits, dimana skrip dikreditkan kepada "Panel MIG". Ooohh, begituuuu. Skrip ni ditulis oleh ramai orang, bukan seorang. Jelas sekali bahawa si penulis yang mengambil alih dari mukasurat 63 (lebih kurang lah) jauh lebih mahir daripada bahlol-bahlol yang start dari mula. Tapi hakikatnya, ada satu kredit untuk "Skrip", dan satu kredit lain untuk "Lakonlayar" - dan yang ni diberi kepada Tuan Pengarah Ahmad Idham. Tulah yang saya kata tadi, dia telah membolot kredit untuk semua filem-filemnya, sedangkan sumbangan yang benar-benar mengelokkan langsung tidak diiktiraf. Tak mungkin dia yang mengarang skrip ini hingga ke akhir; takkan seorang pencerita yang cekap akan puas hati dengan hanya menulis separuh skrip.

Dia tak tulis keseluruhan skrip ini, tapi memang dia yang mengarah keseluruhan filem ini - dan sememangnya dia pengarah yang sial. Saya dah kata dia main lantak je bikin filem, dan buktinya ada di sini; dia langsung tak hirau nak record on-location sound. Setiap baris dialog dirakam semula di studio, dan setiap sound effect dibubuh masa post. Sound balancing pun tak ngam, dimana dialog terlalu kuat dan nyaring dan efek pula terlalu lemah; semuanya mengakibatkan filem ini berbunyi palsu. Ini pembikinan filem yang murah, cepat, dan berkualiti rendah. Nak bukti lagi? Tengok credits lagi sekali - ada "Azizih Mahzan", "Lkon layar", dan banyak lagi typo. Credits pun takdorang QC.

Susah nak bagi rating untuk filem macam ni; ia macam dua filem yang berlainan, bukan satu. Yang pertama memang patut dapat 1 bintang, tapi yang kedua tu... eh, I think 2-½ is fair. So I guess I'll split the difference and give it 2 stars. Kepada penulis skrip filem kedua yang tidak bernama, saya ingin beri galakan untuk membikin filem anda sendiri. Beli kamera prosumer, mintak favour dari pelakon-pelakon yang awak kenal, ilhamkan sebuah cerita low-budget dan simple macam, misalnya, Paranormal Activity, arahkan sendiri. Jangan biar bakat anda dibenam dan dikebumikan lagi. Ganbatte! Dan kepada En. Ahmad Idham, awak boleh pergi mampus.

NEXT REVIEW: can't be sure at the mo. Stay tuned